Recent Questions, Ponderings, Discoveries, & Thoughts

April 25, 2008 By

I’ve been doing a whole lot of deep thinking lately, especially yesterday. I could write a full-fledged post on each topic, and I might do that with some of these at a later date, but I just wanted to share what’s been running through my head over the past week or so. These are all randomly-ordered questions, ponderings, discoveries, and thoughts I’ve had.

- You can’t change other people. You can only change yourself and be a positive example for others to follow.

- When you put God at the center of your life, everything else just falls into place exactly the way it’s supposed to.

- If you try to do too many things at once you won’t get anything done at all. Focusing on one thing will get you a lot farther.

- Why is it that practically everyone I know is in a relationship now, and all over the course of the past month?

- I’ll be getting to that point in a few years when everyone I know is starting to get married, and man, that seems unreal. When did I get to this age?

- I’ll be twenty in July? Twenty? Two decades down. Wow.

- I finally know exactly what I want and that I am once again ready to be in a relationship.

- Am I only good enough to talk to or does she (come on you didn’t think you were actually gonna get a name, did you?) actually want something more with me?

- Why am I always second best, and how do I change that?

- Sushi from the VCU Commons is great at the beginning of the week, but practically a biohazard by Friday.

- I need to nail down what I’m doing this Summer job-wise, and really soon.

- I need to decide on my major for sure by next Fall. Graphic Design, Mass Communications, Film, or Business?

- The old saying is absolutely right: If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

- Running is a great stress reliever.

- Change is constant and life is fluid.

- There are two options: Get in the game or be left behind.

- I need to spend less money on eating out, and that would also help me with my goal of getting in shape.

- I’ve got an incredible group of friends who are more supportive, caring, and genuine than anyone else I’ve ever been around in my life.

- I need to stop making this list and go get ready to head to VCU for my second-to-the-last day of classes.

Glad I got all that out. I feel a lot better now! Comment and share your thoughts.

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What’s Bothering Me So Much That I’m Awake At 4:45 AM?

April 20, 2008 By

It’s 4:45 AM and I’m up writing because I just can’t sleep. Something’s bothering me and I can’t figure out what exactly. I know bits and pieces of it, but not the entire thing, hence my writing it out to try and get a handle on what it is. Part of it is the fact that I just feel like a hamster spinning on a wheel lately. Why? Because I have so many different projects running (web projects, personal projects, etc.) that I just can’t seem to get finished. I can start fifty of them but can’t ever finish one. Two examples I can think of at the moment are my Downtown Short Pump website and the Deep Run Marathon Dance DVD I need to have completed soon (that one will get done because I have a deadline, but I’m having a hard time getting around to it for various reasons).

The other reason I can’t sleep is I keep having these dreams lately that my life is completely stagnant and not going anywhere. I just woke up from one. Well, I suppose they aren’t exactly dreams, but rather subconscious feelings I have as I sleep because I still feel them for a while when they wake me up during the night. It’s hard to describe, but it’s this feeling that my life is two-dimensional and I’m just going through the motions, doing insignificant, meaningless things just because they’re part of a routine or something. It’s driving me insane at the moment trying to figure out the root of these feelings because they’re not an isolated chain of thoughts. I know the fact that I’m going absolutely nowhere isn’t completely true because I have some things going for me right now, but I have this nagging discontent that I just can’t seem to shake. I really need to figure it out.

One more thing is that everything in my life feels so fluid right now. Sometimes it feels like I’m on one of those moving sidewalks, like at the airport. I’m moving on down the line while everyone and everything else goes on by, or vice versa. Either way I feel out of place in my own life and the worst part is I can’t figure out what I need to do to change it.

It’s not like I’m necessarily searching for something of greater meaning in my life beyond the temporary thrills, because I have really focused on putting God at the center of my life more than ever in recent days. It really is true that by doing that, many of life’s problems seem to be less complex. At the same time, however, I don’t think I’m where I need to be.

There are also moments when I have these very satisfying feelings of thinking I’m just a few steps away from being where I need to be and being totally content in my life, but once again I don’t know what it is I need to do or change to get to that point. It goes much deeper in some ways, but as open and transparent as I am about my personal life, that’s as far as I think I can take it on my very public blog. There’s just only so much you can say without unintentionally offending certain people (and that could happen because sometimes you can’t judge someone’s tone by reading words on a screen as opposed to having a face-to-face conversation).

These are all things I’m going to pray about and ask God for guidance with in my life, as well as talk to other people about. I just thought that if I was awake and couldn’t sleep, it might help to write it all out. At the same time, though, if you’d like to offer up any suggestions via a comment, please do so as it would be much appreciated.

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Celebrating Easter

March 23, 2008 By

It’s today that we celebrate that Christ, who died for all of our sins, rose again. Take the time today to remember and celebrate all He has done for all of us and in your own life personally. But it really is something to be joyful about. I know it’ll be a party at RCC this morning at the services (and when I say party, I mean that they really get into it, even more so today than usual, and it’s very impacting and powerful)! Happy Easter, everyone!

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The Game Of Love: My Take On Dating, Relationships, And The Game Of It All

March 22, 2008 By

Truth be told, I have not been in all that many relationships, just a few here and there, nothing serious and nothing lasting more than three months. Why? Lately I’m just too busy for a girlfriend, but from my last relationship (two years ago) and back, I was never committed to anything really, including having a relationship. That’s the complete opposite now, but ironically I just wouldn’t have time for a girlfriend now (assuming someone even happened to come along). I really don’t care anymore, because my time will come. Now while I couldn’t speak much from a perspective of being in a relationship, I’ve been around so many people and listened to so many countless stories about friends and their relationships, I could probably write a book on it one day.

Now I’m no expert on anything of course and I’m generally one of those people who knows a little about a lot rather than a lot about a little, but I just wanted to share some of my personal observations about how it seems guys and girls interact, and how relationships work out (or don’t). I see and hear the same things again, and again, and again, and for that reason could probably predict how long most of my friends will remain in their respective relationships. It’s no skill, it’s just picking up on the same patterns between everyone and making the connections. Nothing’s straightforward when it comes to relationships, in fact it’s all just one big game. I’m just the guy on the sidelines making informed commentary based on how the same plays were made repetitively. Here’s what I’ve observed thus far (hang on, I’ve had all of this inside me for a good while, it’s gonna be quite a ride):

  • Girls, despite how bad they talk about them in the end, love guys who treat them badly. There’s no way around this one. They gravitate towards them. Even if you’re a girl who says you like “nice guys,” you’ll probably date a couple that seem nice and end up treating you like dirt. Why? At least by observing some female friends of mine, they all seem to have one common objective with this type of guy: “See if he likes me enough to change his ways just for me.” There’s something girls love about this. I’ll never quite get it. All I know is I’ll hear repeatedly from friends who are girls about how wonderful some guy is and then a week or two later I’ll hear about what a jerk he is or how he wronged her in some way.
  • Availability, or lack thereof, is huge. Whether you’re a guy or girl, we all want what we can’t have. Isn’t it ironic how we adore the ones that ignore us, ignore the ones who adore us, love the ones that hurt us, and hurt the ones that love us? If someone’s not available or doesn’t want a relationship with you, you want them all the more. I’ve learned personally that if you’re always around, it’s just completely undesirable to a girl. I guess it’s just the thrill of the hunt or something. It all goes back to the stupid game.
  • It really is all one big game. I’ve mentioned this a couple times already, but it really is nothing more than a game. I’ve never been good at any sport outside of bowling and mini-golf, (If they ever form an Olympic Putt-Putt Team, sign me up, maybe I’ll make something of my life, but I digress) but it seems just like with any real sport, you just have to learn the rules, practice at it, and you’ll end up winning.
  • Girls think it hurts less to sugarcoat things. Guys, we’ve probably all been struck down at some point (I have plenty), and we’ve all heard the excuses (these are ones I’ve personally heard): “Oh I just don’t want a relationship right now.” (And the next week she’s in a relationship) “You’re a great guy and are so fun to be around, but I don’t see you like that.” (Because she prefers the type of scumbag guys you might pick up at the Waffle House at 3:00 AM to someone that will actually treat her well) “It’s not you, it’s me.” (Yeah usually this is a bunch of crap) Let me tell you this, I’ve heard everything in the book, and girls, it hurts a whole lot less just to be straightforward, honest, and frank to our faces rather than say all these things that may have some truth to them but are not the way you feel. Just give it to us straight so we can move on with our lives rather than be all hung up on you because we’re not sure why you think we’re such “great guys” but yet you don’t want to have anything to do with us.
  • It’s every man for himself, winner take all, and survival of the fittest. Girls like a guy who is strong both physically and in his pursuit of them. I’ve lost out plenty of times because I’ve never been that competitive and I don’t particularly like conflict, so I just back down. But sometimes you have to man up and go out and get what you want. Sometimes it’s the only way.
  • Take a number and wait in line. “Now serving #716!” Just like going to the DMV or the deli counter at Ukrop’s, you’re probably just a number to whatever girl you’re after. This used to bother me, but I’m over it now. You’ve gotta get over it. I’ve felt intimidated in the past by the “pro league” girls who’ve been playing the game for a while. You can’t let this intimidate you, because if it does, it will show and you’ve probably squashed your chances with that girl. Play the game inwardly as if you’re just another one in line to date her, but outwardly show her you’re the only one and the best choice.
  • Stop complaining and start changing. I’ve seen many people, mainly male friends, be unhappy with their dating scenarios and change themselves in order to bring about the results they want. Focus on finding patterns. If you see that things don’t work out over and over again, there’s almost always a common factor. Identify it, then work on changing that particular trait. Whether you’re too annoying, talk people’s ears off (guilty as charged), or think you could be in better shape, identify problem areas and make small changes. They will go a long, long way. I’ve tried a few of these and they really do make a big difference.

So there you have it. It’s on the table, take it or leave it. None of this is to say I know any more than anyone else, I’ve just really payed close attention to friends’ relationships and situations and honed in on the patterns therein. I will follow up to this with more posts in the future. This is just the beginning. Anyway, hope you enjoyed and were at least entertained!

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A Grande Nonfat Chai Tea Latte For Thomas?

March 20, 2008 By

Well this is a new one. I can’t count how many times people have thought my name was Travis (though I still don’t understand why that’s such a common thing that happens to me, because honestly I haven’t really met any more people named Travis than Trevor in my lifetime, but I digress). Well this morning at the Cabell Library Starbucks at VCU, I ordered my usual pick-me-up, a grande nonfat Chai Tea Latte. They ask for your name with your order at this particular location because it’s so incredibly busy, and the lady asked mine twice because I guess she couldn’t hear me. But I ended up with Thomas on my cup. I don’t know I just found that interesting. How in the world do you get Thomas from Trevor? Yet more proof that I really don’t exist, especially at VCU, like I posted about a few weeks earlier. Thought I’d snap a quick picture of it. Too funny.

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The 2008 Deep Run Marathon Dance Raises $105,931.81 For Local Organizations!

March 10, 2008 By

I still can’t believe just how much money was raised at this year’s Deep Run Marathon Dance. $105,931.81! I headed up the Film Crew this year and had so much fun filming throughout the duration of the 27 hour dance. I’ll talk more about how that went in a moment. But I made an opening video to get everyone pumped, including a pep talk from the movie Miracle, that was shown before the dance started, then had a closing video at the end that included interviews with leaders from all ten of the benefiting organizations, video footage from the dance, and a dramatic grand total at the end.

I was kind of on the edge of my seat at the closing ceremony because it had taken me eight hours to compile and edit the closing video and I didn’t even have time to render a DVD. So I basically just played an AVI that I exported to my computer and held my breath hoping my Mac wouldn’t freeze while playing it. It was a huge 2.5 GB file, so I had plenty reason to worry. Fortunately it didn’t freeze and I think it turned out pretty good. I had been up for just about 40 hours straight by the time I finished it, so I also wondered if I had made any big editing mistakes based on the fact that I was so mentally tired I didn’t know what I was doing. No one had even seen the video but me until I presented it to hundreds and hundreds of people at the closing ceremony. But there again, it turned out pretty good I think. Both videos will be posted later today and will be accessible here, on my YouTube page, and Facebook.

I was on the fence about whether to do this on an annual basis, but after doing this for my second year in a row and seeing the energy, enthusiasm, and huge benefit of this dance, there’s no question that I’ll do this again every year. It was so liberating to be able to head up my own video project and manage five other people who filmed the dance this year. I usually work under other people and have less creative control. It was great for once to be able to have the final say in what was produced and call all the shots, with no one to tell me otherwise. Because of that, I was a lot less frustrated and more motivated to produce a great end result. It was an amazing feeling (and that’s not a knock on anyone I normally work with, because they do great work; it was just a big thing for me personally). It was also cool to be recognized for once and I was honored to be so warmly received at the end.

Some have said that I should focus even more time on other video production efforts instead of doing this, but I would argue that it’s something that I’m really proud to be a part of and have so much fun doing it because of the role I’m given to creatively produce something really exciting and unique. Plus the end result is amazing. An event that raises almost $106,000 for charity is something really spectacular to be a part of. I may even consider taking on other projects and helping out other charitable causes around the area at their respective events because I found working with the Deep Run Marathon Dance to be very impacting and rewarding. It was just incredible.

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40-Hour Fiasco

March 8, 2008 By

I’ve pretty much been up since 7:00 AM Friday and have been at the 27 hour Deep Run Marathon Dance up until now. That makes for a grand total of 40 hours awake, moreless. I don’t feel a thing… yet. I bet tomorrow it’ll hit me like a ton of bricks. I will post the opening and closing videos I made for the dance tomorrow once I figure out how to squish 3 GB files into a 100 MB maximum YouTube upload. Anyway, it was an incredible experience and I’ll write much, much more about it tomorrow!

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Running On Empty

March 6, 2008 By

I’m completely, utterly exhausted. I was running on adrenaline but am now out of that too. I don’t think I’ve ever been this tired in my life, and I’m about to stay up for 27 hours tomorrow night to film the Deep Run Marathon Dance. I’ll tell more about that later, but for now I’m going to bed. Lots of interesting things to post when I have more time, so stay tuned.

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Leap Year Birthdays

February 29, 2008 By

What if you were born on February 29, a day like today that only comes around once every four years? Do you age four times slower, or do you just have less fun because you only get to party it up every four years? I’ve always wondered how that would go. Here’s one woman’s story. (Oh, and Happy Leap Day!)

Tillie Iverson is observing her 24th birthday Friday — at the age of 96.
Family members from as far away as Florida, Ohio, Nevada and North Carolina are helping her celebrate her Leap Year birthday. Iverson was born in 1912 on Feb. 29, a date that only comes around every four years. Like others born on that date, she has sometimes marked her birthday on Feb. 28 and sometimes on March 1.
“It depended on what day of the week it was and what fit the best,” Iverson said. “Someone might have been too busy one day, so we’d do it another day.”

But she still feels a little cheated as a Leap Day baby. “I didn’t enjoy it at all,” she said. “The day before, that’s not my birthday. And the day after, that’s not my birthday either. I’ve been shorted on birthdays.” Iverson, whose husband died in 1993, helped deliver 42 babies over the years as a midwife. She kept a scrapbook with information on the infants. “We’d get up in the morning and she’d be boiling her instruments on the kitchen stove, and she’d tell us about the baby she had delivered,” said Evelyn Maloney, one of four surviving siblings. Two others have died.
Iverson lives in an apartment in Chippewa Falls where she still handles many of the daily chores of life, with help from Maloney, who visits often.

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Blog 365 Day Of Rest

February 28, 2008 By

So as most of you know, I’m participating in Blog 365, where you’re challenged to blog every single day in 2008. I love writing and I already had a pretty good habit of blogging, and I haven’t missed a day yet. I always have something on my mind to talk about or post. It’s just second nature, I guess. Anyway, it was started by my friend Kamen Gordon. He has designated tomorrow, February 29 (the “extra” day of 2008 that we only have on leap years) as the Blog 365 Day Of Rest. I don’t know whether I’ll post or not. I really like blogging and it’s just part of my daily routine now. We’ll see. Everyone enjoy your day off, though.

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