Category

life

Sub-Par Posting

By life, news, technology No Comments

My blog entries lately have been sub-par. Okay, just flat out poor. I’m aware. I’ve had technical issues with my computer, wireless internet, my hosting service, moving to a new server, and other things. I promise I’ll be back to my normal posting habits tomorrow.

I’ve also been working non-stop on getting my web business up and running. It’s finally getting where it needs to be visually and content-wise. I’ll write a big post about that soon. I have so much on my mind I wanna write about, in fact, that my head might explode. I’d say I have a mental list of topics that will get me through at least the next three weeks.

Hang in there. I’ll see you tomorrow for some much more in-depth and interesting content. I promise.

Isn’t Life Funny?

By life No Comments

Have you ever stopped to think about how you got to where you are? I’m a firm believer that there are no coincidences in life whatsoever. The people we meet, the things that happen to us, the experiences we have, they all happen for a reason. They’re all part of God’s plan for our lives. But do you ever think about how many small things could have lead to big things in your life?

Most people never think about this, but the thought struck me today.¬†Suppose you’re going down the road. You reach a stop sign. You can go left or right. Think about all of the different implications that could have. I’m just fabricating scenarios here, but if you turn left, you could end up going to a gas station and meet your future spouse. If you turn right, you might be in a car accident and die. It’s just so interesting how the smallest decisions that we don’t even process as even being decisive things can end up changing so much.

The decision to open your mouth and say something before you think could end up costing you your good name and reputation. Choosing to exchange small talk with the person behind you at Starbucks could lead to making a new friend, which in turn could lead to meeting other people, new opportunities, or even a different lifestyle.

Once again these are just random scenarios, but you get the idea.¬†It’s just so amazing how the smallest of small decisions can change your life in such dramatic ways. Isn’t life funny?

Recent Questions, Ponderings, Discoveries, & Thoughts

By life No Comments

I’ve been doing a whole lot of deep thinking lately, especially yesterday. I could write a full-fledged post on each topic, and I might do that with some of these at a later date, but I just wanted to share what’s been running through my head over the past week or so. These are all randomly-ordered questions, ponderings, discoveries, and thoughts I’ve had.

– You can’t change other people. You can only change yourself and be a positive example for others to follow.

– When you put God at the center of your life, everything else just falls into place exactly the way it’s supposed to.

– If you try to do too many things at once you won’t get anything done at all. Focusing on one thing will get you a lot farther.

– Why is it that practically everyone I know is in a relationship now, and all over the course of the past month?

– I’ll be getting to that point in a few years when everyone I know is starting to get married, and man, that seems unreal. When did I get to this age?

– I’ll be twenty in July? Twenty? Two decades down. Wow.

– I finally know exactly what I want and that I am once again ready to be in a relationship.

– Am I only good enough to talk to or does she (come on you didn’t think you were actually gonna get a name, did you?) actually want something more with me?

– Why am I always second best, and how do I change that?

– Sushi from the VCU Commons is great at the beginning of the week, but practically a biohazard by Friday.

– I need to nail down what I’m doing this Summer job-wise, and really soon.

– I need to decide on my major for sure by next Fall. Graphic Design, Mass Communications, Film, or Business?

– The old saying is absolutely right: If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

– Running is a great stress reliever.

– Change is constant and life is fluid.

– There are two options: Get in the game or be left behind.

– I need to spend less money on eating out, and that would also help me with my goal of getting in shape.

– I’ve got an incredible group of friends who are more supportive, caring, and genuine than anyone else I’ve ever been around in my life.

– I need to stop making this list and go get ready to head to VCU for my second-to-the-last day of classes.

Glad I got all that out. I feel a lot better now! Comment and share your thoughts.

What’s Bothering Me So Much That I’m Awake At 4:45 AM?

By life, spirituality 2 Comments

It’s 4:45 AM and I’m up writing because I just can’t sleep. Something’s bothering me and I can’t figure out what exactly. I know bits and pieces of it, but not the entire thing, hence my writing it out to try and get a handle on what it is. Part of it is the fact that I just feel like a hamster spinning on a wheel lately. Why? Because I have so many different projects running (web projects, personal projects, etc.) that I just can’t seem to get finished. I can start fifty of them but can’t ever finish one. Two examples I can think of at the moment are my Downtown Short Pump website and the Deep Run Marathon Dance DVD I need to have completed soon (that one will get done because I have a deadline, but I’m having a hard time getting around to it for various reasons).

The other reason I can’t sleep is I keep having these dreams lately that my life is completely stagnant and not going anywhere. I just woke up from one. Well, I suppose they aren’t exactly dreams, but rather subconscious feelings I have as I sleep because I still feel them for a while when they wake me up during the night. It’s hard to describe, but it’s this feeling that my life is two-dimensional and I’m just going through the motions, doing insignificant, meaningless things just because they’re part of a routine or something. It’s driving me insane at the moment trying to figure out the root of these feelings because they’re not an isolated chain of thoughts. I know the fact that I’m going absolutely nowhere isn’t completely true because I have some things going for me right now, but I have this nagging discontent that I just can’t seem to shake. I really need to figure it out.

One more thing is that everything in my life feels so fluid right now. Sometimes it feels like I’m on one of those moving sidewalks, like at the airport. I’m moving on down the line while everyone and everything else goes on by, or vice versa. Either way I feel out of place in my own life and the worst part is I can’t figure out what I need to do to change it.

It’s not like I’m necessarily searching for something of greater meaning in my life beyond the temporary thrills, because I have really focused on putting God at the center of my life more than ever in recent days. It really is true that by doing that, many of life’s problems seem to be less complex. At the same time, however, I don’t think I’m where I need to be.

There are also moments when I have these very satisfying feelings of thinking I’m just a few steps away from being where I need to be and being totally content in my life, but once again I don’t know what it is I need to do or change to get to that point. It goes much deeper in some ways, but as open and transparent as I am about my personal life, that’s as far as I think I can take it on my very public blog. There’s just only so much you can say without unintentionally offending certain people (and that could happen because sometimes you can’t judge someone’s tone by reading words on a screen as opposed to having a face-to-face conversation).

These are all things I’m going to pray about and ask God for guidance with in my life, as well as talk to other people about. I just thought that if I was awake and couldn’t sleep, it might help to write it all out. At the same time, though, if you’d like to offer up any suggestions via a comment, please do so as it would be much appreciated.